I hang up the phone and smile. Another friend had called to tell me the good news - she is pregnant. Although I am genuinely happy for her, my smile quickly fades as I think about how another month has gone by and I have not become pregnant. My thoughts begin to drift as I hang up the phone. I think about the emotional rollercoaster of excitement and disappointment that Eric and I have been on for the past several years. “When will it be my turn?” I ask.
Half a world away, a little girl sits in a room full of other orphans just like her. Each one is wearing all the clothes that they own. Today is just like every other day – sitting on a “potty chair,” a wooden box with a hole cut out for her legs. She sits there, along the wall for hours at a time, waiting for the worker to arrive with her food. Occasionally one of the workers will pick her up, change her, hold her briefly and then place her back on her seat. She hasn’t known anything else, but somehow her heart aches. It feels empty inside. What would it be like to have a mommy and daddy all to herself?
We met Cassie at a fourth of July barbeque in 2004. She was petite and adorable! She had two little pigtails sticking straight up on top of her head and a smile that melted your heart. She clung to Lisa, her adopted mother. Though she’d been in the States for 7 months already, the memories of the orphanage in China were fresh and she was still afraid that she would have to go back to that lonely place.
A year later, we visited Lisa and her family again. This time, Cassie ran to us, played with us, and even called us by name. This little girl captured our hearts and we continued to pray and dream about adopting a child from China ourselves someday. When would it be? How would we know the time was right?
Over the past few years, you have faithfully journeyed with us through our struggles with infertility and for that I am so grateful. Thank you for your words of encouragement and all your prayers. They mean so much to both of us. During our infertility journey, we have continued to be open to adoption, but the timing never felt right.
That changed on September 27th, when we attended an adoption seminar. We heard the stories and saw the precious children, looking up lovingly at their parents as if to say “Yes, I belong! This is MY mommy and daddy.” These childrenwere not conceived in their adoptive mother’s womb, but in her heart.
After years of praying, we feel it is the Lord’s time for us to adopt a precious child from China! In response to God’s leading, on October 2nd we applied to adopt our child! We are now in the waiting process and will soon talk with a social worker. We look forward to the day when we receive a picture and a biography of our child. We can’t wait to share it with you!
The process will take up to 14 months. The adoption agency calls it a “paper pregnancy” and it makes us smile every time we think about it! Our hope and prayer is that our new little miracle will be here by next Christmas. Please pray for us as we begin this exciting journey- that He would give us wisdom and continue to supply for all our needs.
We have always been encouraged by the angel’s words to Mary about the miraculous birth of Jesus in Luke 1:37, “For nothing will be impossible with God,” and are claiming this verse over our own little miracle. We covet your continued prayers for us on our journey. God bless you abundantly this Christmas season.
God bless you! We love you!
Allison and Eric